Monday, March 9, 2009
Tongan Ninja: An Instant Classic
(Updated to give you taste of Tongan Ninja theme song)
"As a boy, he survived a plane crash on a remote Pacific Island where he was trained in the ancient art of Ninjitsu after fish tragically ate his father. But when The Syndicate threatens the kindly owners of a New Zealand restaurant, the deadliest ninja alive must battle Knife Man (an expert with knives), Gun Man (an expert with guns), Henchman (an expert with henches), and his childhood archenemy Action Fighter (known as Marvin) to save the woman he loves. From the savage jungles of Tonga to the mountaintop Patio Of Death, this is the underground comedy sensation. . . that's taking the world by storm. If you see one cleverly dubbed martial arts musical comedy action movie this year, make it TONGAN NINJA!"
Yes, Allen rented this movie. I agree with the cover's assesment that if you do see one martial arts musical comedy action move this year, it will have to be Tongan Ninja since I can't imagine anything else fitting in this "interesting" genre.
Also, I've started titling my posts with the academic convention of an endlessly long title complete with semi-colon, fin.
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8 comments:
Ha! That is so funny that you rented this -- I was just at Top Hat this week and actually pulled this one off the shelf and read the back of it ... thought about renting it ... then regained my pride and put it back on the shelf. I know Top Hat has a lot of weird movies, but I distinctly remember putting this one back on the shelf and thinking "Who rents these?" Question answered. Please tell Allen to review the movie on your blog.
Quinn
The best part EVER is when the boom mike falls into the scene, so he takes it and uses it to attack. Well, that and the dad's piranha bitten legs.
Gotta love the ninja!
With Banks inundated with requests from responsible borrowers, I really had no time to read the blog, watch the YouTube clip and then watch it again with everyone else in the office, and spend and hour discussing over favorite B movies. But if I'd had the time, my favorite line would have been, "I am the P.I. you requested: Pacific Islander." But since I could not have possibly have had the time to watch it several times, I couldn't possibly get the quote quite right, but it's something like that.
(Does Top Hat still have the DVD? We would like to use it for an upcoming team building exercise…)
Something about a Tongan Ninja strikes eerily close to home. I just can't put my finger on it though...
You must be remembering the prequel: White Samoan Ninja. The highlight was when a shorter middle-aged woman caught the White samoan Ninja by the foot mid kick and elevated his foot until he fell on his backside. It would have been one of those "Late night with Gilbert Godfrey" movies, back before there was YouTube.
Update 03/13: Was at Top Hat yesterday, looking specifically for Tongan Ninja, and it was rented out. Too bad, too. I don't know if I'll ever summon the courage again to rent it.
Quinn
It is now on my MUST RENT list. thanks, keep the recommendations coming, only Allen can find ones as good as these. We still love the mystery theater shorts he introduced us to.
After my mocking post, I decided to view Tongan Ninja. I particularly enjoyed the evil dubbed voice of the young arch enemy. Quinn, don't give up--we've finally returned the movie, so it should be there everytime from here on out.
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